I am selling my 10-day-old laptop.

[Posh420]

I am a university student and I haven't even paid my first installment yet, and it is clear that I won't be able to pay. I thought I could do 3 to 5 jobs online to cover the installments, but it's been almost 2 weeks and I haven't been able to do a single job. I don't understand what I am doing wrong. Yes, I don't have much skill or ability in the online world because I didn't have the means for it to develop. I have been wanting to improve myself in graphic design for years, but I didn't have the money to buy a computer. I barely convinced someone to buy it on installments (an Asus with 4GB RAM, i3 10th generation, 256SSD, almost costing 7000, and it doesn't even have a dedicated graphics card). I didn't buy it to watch shows or movies, do homework, or write articles. I bought it to do something and earn money. I thought I would develop myself. But no, what are you relying on! How will I pay for this? I can't even feed myself with the loan I took. What will happen like this? It's not just me. There are thousands like me, I know. I think these things are happening to me because I don't want to study and become a civil servant to lead an ordinary life. What was so bad about accepting 3-5 million and studying properly, right? If you use your dreams and imagination, this is the result. I don't know who to blame. The management, my family, or myself? If only we had some joy in our lives. The branch we are reaching out to is drying up. We can't meet our basic needs by roaming around. When was the last time I went shopping and bought something for myself? Or sat with friends and had a coffee comfortably? There are days when I go to bed hungry, is there anything worse? I wonder why and where I went wrong. I can't answer either of these. I'm not writing this to sell anything, serious buyers PM - irony.